I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i came on her dog
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have feelings that need drinking.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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