Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
