you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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