omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
