is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
They are going to name an STD after you.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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