First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
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