he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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