i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
