The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
