do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
