You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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