Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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