We need to rekindle our bromance
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
