Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Are we still banned from the library?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
