The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
