i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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