Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
