Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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