Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
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We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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