oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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