at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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