nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
