guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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