I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize