i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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