dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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