the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
This is my gift to your gina
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
