I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
