So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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