Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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