She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
