I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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