just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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