last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
