My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
