guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
