1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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