making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
i out mim tonsoeep
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
