I think I just saw someone hide a body.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
