you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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