You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize