I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
