You're so nebulous sometimes
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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