Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize