you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
