I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
