if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize