I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
