do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
