this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize