At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
