just come out here and I will go home with you...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
