Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
