I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
