Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
