Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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