Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
