I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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