The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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