My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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