he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
