I wanna passion pit in your ass
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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