Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
