Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize