He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
