I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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