I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
